So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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