frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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