i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
