Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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