Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
