Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
