Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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