it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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