I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
