I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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