ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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