is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
