but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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