She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
