I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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