Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
