I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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