Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
