I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
