would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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