He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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