Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
