He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
