i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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