i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
