My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
