I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
