but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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