The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
