Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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