shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
