I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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