So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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