do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
