so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Are we still banned from the library?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize