Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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