The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
