6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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