I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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