people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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