So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
