Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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