Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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