Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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