Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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