Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the day after is always just damage control
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
