# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
