we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
