I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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