Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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