I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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