belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
