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Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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