He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize