what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
