He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
