I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
