She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
