what day is it and did you see me today?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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