R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
