OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
