I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
