i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
