Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
