this beer tastes like vomit already
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
