I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
