It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
