Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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