Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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