We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
